Get out your cast iron, kids, and saute along as we bring to you our finest culinary efforts. In collaboration with Ryan Schremp’s weekly Max Ink Radio broadcast, Earworms, and Madison’s own Jim’s Meat Market, PHOX brings you the MEET OF THE WEAK. Er.. you get it.

This weak, we presented the future with a three course meal, under head chef Che Van Lion.

Coure Uno: a rise and shine wrap. Rhyming with red bell peppers and vidalia onion, Jim’s finest breakfast sausage scrambles into a single egg, cheddar cheese, a dollop of sour cream (unless you just removed it from refrigerator, in which case it more likely resembles a hearty schmear), and trailer park style salsa picante (also see: Pace medium).

Also note, with Pabst Blue Ribbon, this breakfast delight is a revelation of taste and panache.

Course Dos: presto pesto chicken parm. For our primary dish, we start with a breaded chicken parm patty sautéed in olive oil and served with garden basil pesto sauce and hole wheat penne. Smoke wheat every day, kidz.

Mmm. The wonder years times food hipster grace. Kevin Arnold would be proud.

Course Tres: enter Dave, and his sweet balsamic reduction’d Italian sausage smash burger. Served atop a twin sized bed of baby spinach and caramely baby bellas and red bells, it’s like Christmas in a can. Except it’s not Christmas, nor is it in a can.

Be sure to save the cracked pepper for the last possible second, just like Fact or Fiction, unless you’re really desperate. Or disparate. There’s always a good reason to break the rules, but in this case, the flakes just look naughty on the porcelain. Just like the bathroom sink, peppered with last week’s whiskers, as if in protest of some dire civil injustice. Roommates. I dunno.

Mark likes it! Hottie likes it! Well, Hottie’s indifferent to almost all food. Strangely, considering with what ferocity she devours her stale, fishy kibbels. Well, we can’t all have taste. There cannot be light without the darkness. Hottie, you are my darkness.

There it is. And how can Dave resist a taste? Intelli mug + Kickapoo brew = discipline. Let’s be healthy, kids. Just not too healthy. Pick your poisons. Until then, we’ll be procrastinating from preparing for next weak’s meet.

Codfish Hollow at first blush would seem like a perverse Heav’n of ghoulish delight. Then you realize you’re right. In the midst of a methane cloud in fine pastures of Iowa, we were invited into the home of veritable music champions, Tiff and Sean Biehl.

This place was made us feel like kids again. It swept us up with all our fancy adult taste and let us peer through the rose-tinted looking glass into the anxious fantasy world of a haunted house, as though reincarnated in our juvenile selves.

We played what we might consider to be the best “house show” of our lives. Quotes because this basement was better equipped than most aircraft carriers, or music venues for that matter, in terms of armaments, sound equipment, and PBR (which apparently, 52 out of 60 Iowans refuse to drink).

So watch us dance and have a good time. I too, always wanted to have a good time, Charlie Brown.

we are embarking on a voyage! there will be photos. and videos. and there will be cryptic messages and run on sentences are thereabouts, too.